The Waiting...

One month...

It has been one month, and I have not seen my Period.

Can't be pregnant. Can't get pregnant.

Wait, is that it?

Nope. No, that's not it.

It's only been a month. I once didn't get my Period for over three months back in 2012.

I don't mind that it hasn't showed up yet. It's just the anticipation.

But I know better than to force it. I'm a firm believer in listening to my body. My body is smart. My body knows what's good for it. My body is smart enough to know when it's time for my Period to start and end.

I press my fingertips to my lower abdomen. Could there be a baby in there?

It feels pretty squishy. No baby in there. Just my organs. My procrastinating organs. Stagnating. Functioning. Functioning properly.

I haven't been getting adequate sleep much. Maybe my body just doesn't know what time it is- or even what time of the day it is.

I put both my hands below my navel. What are you doing, Uterus? Why are you so shy? Don't you know how important you are? I am a Woman. You're are the reason I am a Woman. If you do not work in me, what am I?

Must be patient. My body has been good to me. My body will not fail me if I treat my body with kindness.

Although this waiting can become tedious.

I'd like to start soon. I have been especially hormonal lately. I do not like this. Most of my emotions have consisted of depression or irrational anger. I am terribly sorry to those who have had to tolerate me in the last several days.

Pheromones emitted from women who are already menstruating can jumpstart the hormones of other women. When women are around each other for enough time, their cycles begin to sync. Perhaps I should spend more time with my lady friends who are on their periods.

But what a strange thing to inquire.

"Hey, are you having your period right now? Can I come over and stand really close to you?"

I don't know that I even have lady friends who I'm that close to.

So, I wait.

Womanhood. You can be so bittersweet.