Text For Last Night

I'm a stupid woman, and you love me, so you're a stupid man. And I've howled at the Moon so much, my lungs are sore and raw, and I'm coughing up blood like raspberries all over my porcelain skin, where you've laid your hand your head your face, traced all over me. And your kiss feels like home, and I'm so fucking homesick. And now that I've thrown my stupid body against the wall so much, I can see, now, that I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at me for letting you slip from my tiny fingers and into the arms of somebody else. I'm not angry at you for trying to fix what I shattered like my car on a foggy morning on the road you and I traveled endlessly on nights like this one. I'm angry at me. I'm fucking pissed at myself because you aren't mine. And you never will be. I don't believe you ever were, but that's alright. I have kicked and screamed and cursed you away so many times and begged my forgiveness back into your Heart a thousand fucking times. And here I am again. I hope you meant it last night when you said you were done with me. I hope you read every word of this and delete them immediately and go to bed, without a word to me. I hope you have plans to see somebody pretty. I hope she kisses you with a mouth that was softer than mine. I hope you fall in love with her like you love the Winter. I hope she holds you late at night and buries your bruises in her skin and you never hurt yourself ever again. Because it's all what you deserve. I'm not bitter. I'm broken, Baby. I was never whole, and I never will be. But, goddamn, you made me feel like I was pretty close to it. I never meant it when I said I hoped my exes the best in Life. I mean it right now. You deserve it. Goodnight. I'm sorry.

Song For The Wounded

You were the best thing and the worst thing in my Life, my Dear.
The light has gone out.
And soon, maybe you will, too.

I Miss You

10:05 pm
I can't quit shaking
You are someplace nice without me
And I am alone, waiting for a boy to take me out to the lake
But I just want to be with you
But you are miles away
And I cannot stop the shaking
And the Lexapro isn't working for me
And I can't quit biting my tongue in my sleep
And I'd kill just to watch you sleeping tonight
And I can't erase your face in my head
And you are still tangled in my hair
And somebody is making you laugh, and I can't hear it
And I am sleeping too much
And I don't have anything to look forward to anymore
And somebody will marry you, and it won't be me
And I have no idea how to cope when it's late at night
And I can't stop shaking
And I'm breaking
Come back to me
Please, stay.