I have an accidental habit of collecting books I've never read and leaving them unread on my bookshelf. I have an accidental habit of collecting boys who always want to kiss me on the mouth and never want to call me their girlfriend.
When Winter comes and my step mom asks me what I want for Christmas this year, I'm going to give her another list of books I'll never read. When February comes, I'll spend another Valentine's Day on my own and feel really sad when I see babies at the grocery store.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Saturday, November 8, 2014
The Stigma of STDs
Let's talk about sexually transmitted diseases and infections.
You've probably heard someone make a joke about somebody having an STD.
You've probably heard things totally inaccurately compared to STDs.
You've probably met somebody with an STD. And you probably never even knew it.
In fact, the chance you've met somebody with an STD is astronomical. Globally, 1 in 2 persons has genital herpes ( in the United States, 1 in 4 persons you've met has genital herpes).
Sexually transmitted diseases and infections are much more common than people think. Some people have contracted one of the 20+ types of STDs and they don't even know they have it. Some people contracted one or many STDs and they choose to not tell anyone (which is fine, as it's nobody's business but that person's business and the business of whomever they have any sexual encounter with). Some become infected once and are able to clear it up with medicine and they never have to worry about it after that. Some become infected and must take one or several medicines every day, so they don't become very sick. Some become infected and must take their medicine or else they will die.
The problem with our media and pop culture portraying STDs is that there is a terrible stigmatization that comes with it. There's this horribly inaccurate idea within our society has that only "sluts" get STDs and only drug addicts get AIDS, etc. None of that's true.
Moreover, not only is our society making a bad name for people with STDs, but they're making jokes about people with STDs. Not fuckin' cool.
Diseases are not a joke. Having depression is not a joke. Having diabetes is not a joke. Having epilepsy is not a joke. Have HIV/ AIDS is not a joke. Having Any STD Is Not A Fucking Joke.
And do you know why it's not a joke? Because having an STD is not funny. It's not a punchline. It's not a novelty. Contracting an STD is traumatic. It's exactly why rape is never a joke- it's painful and terrifying and serious.
Now, aside from the obvious slut- shaming (which I sincerely hope I don't have to explain why that in itself is shitty), we have got to shut down this idea that only people who sleep around get STDs. Anybody can get an STD. You already know a busload of people who have one now. There are people who have STDs because they were in long- term relationships and their partner was unfaithful. There are people who were born with STDs. There are people who have STDs from the first time they were ever in a sexual encounter. There are people who have STDs from having been raped. There are people who have STDs because someone they were sexual with either did not give a fuck about their partner, so they didn't tell them, or they never even knew they were already infected. The latter is shockingly common. Many STDs begin asymptomatic, and so the person infected doesn't even realize they've got it. All that is to say is that it's not for you to judge. That's not fair. That's not even what a decent human does.
We need to make a safe space for those infected. There are a lot of them out there, and the World we live in isn't kind to them. Living everyday with debilitating pain and weakness and shame is difficult enough, and making the space we share with them a hostile one when we make jokes and stigmatize them is not making them feel safer.
You've probably heard someone make a joke about somebody having an STD.
You've probably heard things totally inaccurately compared to STDs.
You've probably met somebody with an STD. And you probably never even knew it.
In fact, the chance you've met somebody with an STD is astronomical. Globally, 1 in 2 persons has genital herpes ( in the United States, 1 in 4 persons you've met has genital herpes).
Sexually transmitted diseases and infections are much more common than people think. Some people have contracted one of the 20+ types of STDs and they don't even know they have it. Some people contracted one or many STDs and they choose to not tell anyone (which is fine, as it's nobody's business but that person's business and the business of whomever they have any sexual encounter with). Some become infected once and are able to clear it up with medicine and they never have to worry about it after that. Some become infected and must take one or several medicines every day, so they don't become very sick. Some become infected and must take their medicine or else they will die.
The problem with our media and pop culture portraying STDs is that there is a terrible stigmatization that comes with it. There's this horribly inaccurate idea within our society has that only "sluts" get STDs and only drug addicts get AIDS, etc. None of that's true.
Moreover, not only is our society making a bad name for people with STDs, but they're making jokes about people with STDs. Not fuckin' cool.
Diseases are not a joke. Having depression is not a joke. Having diabetes is not a joke. Having epilepsy is not a joke. Have HIV/ AIDS is not a joke. Having Any STD Is Not A Fucking Joke.
And do you know why it's not a joke? Because having an STD is not funny. It's not a punchline. It's not a novelty. Contracting an STD is traumatic. It's exactly why rape is never a joke- it's painful and terrifying and serious.
Now, aside from the obvious slut- shaming (which I sincerely hope I don't have to explain why that in itself is shitty), we have got to shut down this idea that only people who sleep around get STDs. Anybody can get an STD. You already know a busload of people who have one now. There are people who have STDs because they were in long- term relationships and their partner was unfaithful. There are people who were born with STDs. There are people who have STDs from the first time they were ever in a sexual encounter. There are people who have STDs from having been raped. There are people who have STDs because someone they were sexual with either did not give a fuck about their partner, so they didn't tell them, or they never even knew they were already infected. The latter is shockingly common. Many STDs begin asymptomatic, and so the person infected doesn't even realize they've got it. All that is to say is that it's not for you to judge. That's not fair. That's not even what a decent human does.
We need to make a safe space for those infected. There are a lot of them out there, and the World we live in isn't kind to them. Living everyday with debilitating pain and weakness and shame is difficult enough, and making the space we share with them a hostile one when we make jokes and stigmatize them is not making them feel safer.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Brother
Brother,
Oh, my God, how you steal my features,
Encapsulate them inside your hands,
Long and slender fingers, like mine,
Silver wedding band on your ring finger.
I want to play Connect the Dots with the sun spots on your shoulders.
I want to sit in the cornucopia of your ear.
I want to sit with you,
3am at the kitchen table,
Cigarette smoldering between your long, slender fingers,
Tell me everything you know about being twenty- one.
Here is the World as I see it now.
There is no fair.
My body has been tired since I was a child.
Brother,
First boy I ever loved.
First boy who ever stood up for me.
On most days, the only boy who stood up for me.
Brother, this World has not been good to me.
You always said there would be struggle,
But
Are my eyes
Supposed to be this dark?
Brother,
I think I am too young to feel so tired.
Oh, my God, how you steal my features,
Encapsulate them inside your hands,
Long and slender fingers, like mine,
Silver wedding band on your ring finger.
I want to play Connect the Dots with the sun spots on your shoulders.
I want to sit in the cornucopia of your ear.
I want to sit with you,
3am at the kitchen table,
Cigarette smoldering between your long, slender fingers,
Tell me everything you know about being twenty- one.
Here is the World as I see it now.
There is no fair.
My body has been tired since I was a child.
Brother,
First boy I ever loved.
First boy who ever stood up for me.
On most days, the only boy who stood up for me.
Brother, this World has not been good to me.
You always said there would be struggle,
But
Are my eyes
Supposed to be this dark?
Brother,
I think I am too young to feel so tired.
Self- Immolation
4:36am
I wrote a poem about you I titled "Fire"
It has been two weeks today
I am still burning
And I do this to myself, you know.
You know how I always throw such a fit when I don't get what I want
So I have taken up self- immolation
What happens to people who self- immolate
Is they set themselves on fire
And they sit
And wait
The first twenty minutes are excruciating.
Flesh burns away
Nerve endings, exposed, ablaze and raging
You can literally feel your skin melting off your body
The essence
Is time.
After all the skin and nerves are burned away
You don't feel anything.
Your entire body is in flames
But you can't feel it.
It has been two weeks.
I am still waiting for the stillness.
I wrote a poem about you I titled "Fire"
It has been two weeks today
I am still burning
And I do this to myself, you know.
You know how I always throw such a fit when I don't get what I want
So I have taken up self- immolation
What happens to people who self- immolate
Is they set themselves on fire
And they sit
And wait
The first twenty minutes are excruciating.
Flesh burns away
Nerve endings, exposed, ablaze and raging
You can literally feel your skin melting off your body
The essence
Is time.
After all the skin and nerves are burned away
You don't feel anything.
Your entire body is in flames
But you can't feel it.
It has been two weeks.
I am still waiting for the stillness.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Free Bleeding: The Art Of Menstruation And How Hilariously Immature The Internet Is Reacting To It
Adult talk time! Today, we're going to talk about Periods! That's right! Periods!
Now, if you already know me personally, you already know I do not shy away from talking about Periods. I talk about my own in casual conversation and pay very little mind to whoever's ear I may be disturbing.
Speaking of people being disturbed and otherwise horrified by menstruation, it would appear that the Internet is just now learning about free bleeding. Free bleeding is the abstinence of using any sort of commercial blood- collecting product aimed for women (eg: pads, tampons, sea sponges, diva cups, etc.), and instead just bleeding freely into the underpants or whatever the menstruating person decides to wear. I have been free bleeding for years and only learned there was an actual word for it like, three years ago.
The Internet is going completely bat shit with this. The Internet is calling free bleeding a "new disturbing Feminist trend." There are people online who either truly believe or are just making rumors- to cause stir for shock value- that free bleeding is denouncing any blood- collecting products as well as any products used for sanitary purposes, because the Internet believes that Feminists seriously think that those things mentioned are "evil, man- made products to rape women." These people promoting this malarkey are mostly Reddit users, 4chan users, or facetious Facebook pages.
I wanted to write this today to, firstly, address the issue of free bleeding, but also explain what's the matter with how people are not just reacting to free bleeding, but menstruation as a whole. And you may be totally fine with free bleeding; I do hope this is the case for most. But I want everyone to see this- whether you're open to free bleeding or not. The issue at hand is much, much deeper than it seems.
I see a lot of people pinning anything they find obscene onto the ideas of Feminism, from misandry to bra abstinence, you name it. Somebody said that free bleeding is a Feminist thing. I am not offended by that. Am I a Feminist? Fuck, yeah. Am I a free bleeder? You bet, I am. But free bleeding and Feminism have, literally, nothing to do with each other. But what has happened is someone read or heard in some form about free bleeding, and they didn't understand it, so they just said, "Egh, some Feminist shit, I guess."
There is nothing radical about menstruating. Menstruating is as natural as childbirth and fucking and sneezing. It's involuntary. Every mammal on our planet menstruates. What is so nasty to you about my choice to not bleed onto a strip on cotton and throw it away when it's drenched in my blood?
In fact, what is so gross about menstruating? Is it because it's a lot of blood? Is it because it came from a uterus? Is it because women are supposed to be attractive at all times and not be bloody and dirty or smelly?
There is nothing gross about Periods. The way people talk about Periods is gross.
You know what is gross? Bleeding on cotton that was picked by hands of poor, under- nourished Brown families or cotton that came from a field, where the crops have been pumped full of chemicals and then thrown away when it's considered "unclean" and dumped into our landfills to stagnate and take up space forever or thrown into our oceans or rivers and polluting our land and sea.
Most women prefer to use disposable products like pads and tampons, and that's fine. If you want to use disposables, I'm not going to tell you how to live your Life, but you do definitely need to know how this affects our ecosystem. There is so much garbage out there now, and it's just growing all the time. The less we can throw out there, the better.
Some women opt for a more environmentally- friendly option, such as reusable pads, diva cups, and sea sponges. I actually own a reusable pad and use it on days where I'm going to be away from home for more than a day and a shower will not be readily available to me but have since then discontinued my use, as I've stopped touring with bands for quite some time.
The previously mentioned options are ideal, if you do not mind washing them. They are all incredibly easy to keep and maintain and use and are all relatively cheap (especially if you consider that you're spending roughly $120.54 every year on pads and tampons). I bought my reusable from Gladrags.com, which is a small business composed of only, like, twelve people actually making the products and distributing them, and they are so wonderful.
I suppose a lot of people would think, "But you're bleeding into your underwear! People will smell that and it will show when you sit down on furniture!" To them, I say that I'll only be smelled if I haven't showered. I am probably cleaner on my period than I am any other time of the month. And as far as bleeding through goes, that has not happened to me ever, because I am really good about wearing panties that are thick, absorbent cotton. And even then, even if I didn't want to talk about it, it would seriously be none of your business what I do when my uterus sheds my lining, just like it's not your business about anything I do.
There are too many people who care way too much about what other people are doing. Is my Period causing you any physical pain? Is this your body? No, it's not at all, and it never will be, so stay the fuck out my uterus, Homes.
This goes for anything. This should go without saying. Let people do what they want. Unless somebody is hurting someone else, leave them alone.
Again, Periods aren't dirty. They're not shameful. They are not a reason to hide yourself or be kept away in a hut away from your family or even your husband. Our patriarchal society has made menstruation something gross and embarrassing. Menstruation has become another thing women are taught to feel ashamed of because of religion or standards of attractiveness. If women and girls are taught to embrace their bodies and to not feel ashamed anymore, we will see a lot of happier and healthier communities.
"There is no such organ quite like the uterus. If men had such an organ, they would brag about it. So should we." -Ina May Gaskin
Now, if you already know me personally, you already know I do not shy away from talking about Periods. I talk about my own in casual conversation and pay very little mind to whoever's ear I may be disturbing.
Speaking of people being disturbed and otherwise horrified by menstruation, it would appear that the Internet is just now learning about free bleeding. Free bleeding is the abstinence of using any sort of commercial blood- collecting product aimed for women (eg: pads, tampons, sea sponges, diva cups, etc.), and instead just bleeding freely into the underpants or whatever the menstruating person decides to wear. I have been free bleeding for years and only learned there was an actual word for it like, three years ago.
The Internet is going completely bat shit with this. The Internet is calling free bleeding a "new disturbing Feminist trend." There are people online who either truly believe or are just making rumors- to cause stir for shock value- that free bleeding is denouncing any blood- collecting products as well as any products used for sanitary purposes, because the Internet believes that Feminists seriously think that those things mentioned are "evil, man- made products to rape women." These people promoting this malarkey are mostly Reddit users, 4chan users, or facetious Facebook pages.
I wanted to write this today to, firstly, address the issue of free bleeding, but also explain what's the matter with how people are not just reacting to free bleeding, but menstruation as a whole. And you may be totally fine with free bleeding; I do hope this is the case for most. But I want everyone to see this- whether you're open to free bleeding or not. The issue at hand is much, much deeper than it seems.
I see a lot of people pinning anything they find obscene onto the ideas of Feminism, from misandry to bra abstinence, you name it. Somebody said that free bleeding is a Feminist thing. I am not offended by that. Am I a Feminist? Fuck, yeah. Am I a free bleeder? You bet, I am. But free bleeding and Feminism have, literally, nothing to do with each other. But what has happened is someone read or heard in some form about free bleeding, and they didn't understand it, so they just said, "Egh, some Feminist shit, I guess."
There is nothing radical about menstruating. Menstruating is as natural as childbirth and fucking and sneezing. It's involuntary. Every mammal on our planet menstruates. What is so nasty to you about my choice to not bleed onto a strip on cotton and throw it away when it's drenched in my blood?
In fact, what is so gross about menstruating? Is it because it's a lot of blood? Is it because it came from a uterus? Is it because women are supposed to be attractive at all times and not be bloody and dirty or smelly?
There is nothing gross about Periods. The way people talk about Periods is gross.
You know what is gross? Bleeding on cotton that was picked by hands of poor, under- nourished Brown families or cotton that came from a field, where the crops have been pumped full of chemicals and then thrown away when it's considered "unclean" and dumped into our landfills to stagnate and take up space forever or thrown into our oceans or rivers and polluting our land and sea.
Most women prefer to use disposable products like pads and tampons, and that's fine. If you want to use disposables, I'm not going to tell you how to live your Life, but you do definitely need to know how this affects our ecosystem. There is so much garbage out there now, and it's just growing all the time. The less we can throw out there, the better.
Some women opt for a more environmentally- friendly option, such as reusable pads, diva cups, and sea sponges. I actually own a reusable pad and use it on days where I'm going to be away from home for more than a day and a shower will not be readily available to me but have since then discontinued my use, as I've stopped touring with bands for quite some time.
The previously mentioned options are ideal, if you do not mind washing them. They are all incredibly easy to keep and maintain and use and are all relatively cheap (especially if you consider that you're spending roughly $120.54 every year on pads and tampons). I bought my reusable from Gladrags.com, which is a small business composed of only, like, twelve people actually making the products and distributing them, and they are so wonderful.
I suppose a lot of people would think, "But you're bleeding into your underwear! People will smell that and it will show when you sit down on furniture!" To them, I say that I'll only be smelled if I haven't showered. I am probably cleaner on my period than I am any other time of the month. And as far as bleeding through goes, that has not happened to me ever, because I am really good about wearing panties that are thick, absorbent cotton. And even then, even if I didn't want to talk about it, it would seriously be none of your business what I do when my uterus sheds my lining, just like it's not your business about anything I do.
There are too many people who care way too much about what other people are doing. Is my Period causing you any physical pain? Is this your body? No, it's not at all, and it never will be, so stay the fuck out my uterus, Homes.
This goes for anything. This should go without saying. Let people do what they want. Unless somebody is hurting someone else, leave them alone.
Again, Periods aren't dirty. They're not shameful. They are not a reason to hide yourself or be kept away in a hut away from your family or even your husband. Our patriarchal society has made menstruation something gross and embarrassing. Menstruation has become another thing women are taught to feel ashamed of because of religion or standards of attractiveness. If women and girls are taught to embrace their bodies and to not feel ashamed anymore, we will see a lot of happier and healthier communities.
"There is no such organ quite like the uterus. If men had such an organ, they would brag about it. So should we." -Ina May Gaskin
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Sleep Paralysis
An entire playlist of songs
Songs for us to make love to
Songs for us to fall asleep to
Every song was a lullaby
Of when you were mine
This is why I have insomnia now
Songs for us to make love to
Songs for us to fall asleep to
Every song was a lullaby
Of when you were mine
This is why I have insomnia now
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Fire
I know a boy who was so hot, he burned a hole through my chest.
Some people are pillars of flame that burn everything they touch.
Some people are made of ash and fall apart when you touch them.
Every boy who broke me was both.
I am learning that the reason we call people "hot"
Has less to do with the way their body shines in the Sun
Or the way our capillaries fluctuate
Instead, it has more to do with how we meet people
Who make us sweat
And burn all our clothes off
And leave us as ashes
Some people are pillars of flame that burn everything they touch.
Some people are made of ash and fall apart when you touch them.
Every boy who broke me was both.
I am learning that the reason we call people "hot"
Has less to do with the way their body shines in the Sun
Or the way our capillaries fluctuate
Instead, it has more to do with how we meet people
Who make us sweat
And burn all our clothes off
And leave us as ashes
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